3 John 10 KJV
[10] “Wherefore, if I come, I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words: and not content therewith, neither doth he himself receive the brethren, and forbiddeth them that would, and casteth them out of the church.”
The apostle makes it clear that if he is able to come, then he will deal with Diotrephes. He also put it in writing and sent it with Gaius for all to hear, in case he was unable to come. Either way John makes it clear that these types of members cannot rule in the church. They must be dealt with, and put in a position to either repent and get in line, or be removed from the church.
The word, “prating” means “to talk nonsense”. He would say anything to slander those who go against him. He would not get along with anyone who would not go along with him. If you were not willing to bow at his feet and make over him, then he would destroy you with malicious words. He rejected the preacher in verse nine and the brethren in verse ten.
As a pastor I have seen men and women come into the church like this man. They would first get a little following around the restaurant table after church services. Then they would build themselves up, and try to minister to members that they could pull in around them. Finally, they would distance themselves from anyone that they thought was loyal to the authority within the church. You see, if they cannot be the authority, their goal is to undermine and reject the authority that is in place.
The man of God has to be careful and prayerful in dealing with a member like this. He must wait for either God to remove them, or the right time to deal with them. A pastor’s ultimate goal is to salvage them, but more often than not they are too full of pride to repent. The bottom line is that John knew that this man would have to be dealt with, and a real man of God knows that as well. Never allow yourself to be pulled into the wicked web of deceit by people like Diotrephes.